Gloat-worthy Retiree Gifts

'He's retired and loves to gloat.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

"Come on, be a sport! The cliffs are lined with kids and bus-loads of retirees: let's give them a breaching display to remember!"

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

'True, I was all for your taking up a hobby on retirement, but, TIGHTROPE-WALKING...!'

Old man in rocking chair playing golf

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'

'Oh, retirement is okay, I guess, but I miss looking forward to the weekends.'

A moment with retired entomologist, Norman 'the torch' Walthrop.

'I outsourced toymaking and delivery, fired the elves and moved my headquarters here to the Cayman Islands.'

Goodbye Party Today - Prof Whiley is Retiring to Spend More Time with his Inner Child.

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

Elderly Dating

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

'Saturdays in paradise.'

"Since Ronnie retired, I like to keep him busy with plenty of activities."

'At the Old Players' Home. . .

"I guess after 30 years you'll want to take your time packing for retirement..."

"Well, kids, mom and I finally bought a condo on a golf course!"

Oap recruitment.

"Enjoy your retirement. I'm sure you will survive all of us. Hahaha, just kidding!"

Sprightly old man

Todays feisty seniors

"You do realize that I'm retired too?"

"His motto went from 'work hard, play hard,' to 'work hard, rest hard.'"

'Thank Heavens we've lived a care-free hedonistic lifestyle.'

'I'm writing my diaries.' 'Neither am I.'

'I've always allowed 24hour drinking here...'

"Oh, I stopped wearing one. At my age there's no point in trying to fool Mother Nature."