Swashbuckling Retiree Gifts

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Pirate eye test

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

Corporate pirate.

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

'Eddy - For Heavens sake, stop watching Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-movies!'

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

"I was in a different place then."

Funk Facts: Pirates.

'Take your eye patch and that stupid parrot and your wooden leg and get out.'

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'

'Oh, retirement is okay, I guess, but I miss looking forward to the weekends.'

A moment with retired entomologist, Norman 'the torch' Walthrop.

Goodbye Party Today - Prof Whiley is Retiring to Spend More Time with his Inner Child.

Elderly Dating

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

A pirate fishes using his hook.

"Since Ronnie retired, I like to keep him busy with plenty of activities."

Manure as Fertilizer and other Tales of Derring-Doo.

'Yes, it is a nice ship but it cost me an arm and a leg.'

"Enjoy your retirement. I'm sure you will survive all of us. Hahaha, just kidding!"

"Maybe he'll take a mulligan."

Todays feisty seniors

'Thank Heavens we've lived a care-free hedonistic lifestyle.'

"Oooh—dollar in the swear-jar, captain!"

"When I first planned my retirement it was an ocean going 7 berth yacht with jacuzzi and helipad..."

'He's retired and loves to gloat.'

''No, sir, adult living doesn't mean X-rated."

Service is getting better!

'My advice to you, Mr Long John, is to forget this pirate nonsense - get yourself on a course'

'Actually, I hate parrots, but it's great to pick up chicks.!

'...and what does my stupid cre get me for my birthday? A PALM PILOT!'