Humorous Sport Retiree Gifts

'At the Old Players' Home. . .

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Pete Sampras

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Old snowboarder with a zimmerboard.

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Sloth 10K.

"Getting the hang of it?"

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

The Hockey World

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'