Humorous Retirees Gifts

Oap recruitment.

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

'When you get older everything hurts... and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

Pensioners - Old ink Pens at the park sitting and walking

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

At the Old Bikers' Home

'This IS our retirement plan.'

"Help! I've fallen and my son is a disappointment!"

"My bottom went to sleep."

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

"We've been here forty years - When do we get our golden parachutes?"

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'

'Let's do something in bad taste.'

'One hundred is the new ninety!'

'Our retirement plan is state funded. When you retire, we give you a lottery ticket.'

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

"Harry seldom leaves his retirement cubicle."

'At the Old Players' Home. . .

Old fly...retirement home.

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

'The Retirement Village Blacksmith.'

'The Ladies Home Auxiliary claims responsibility.'

"You DO know that 'Active Retirement' is an oxymoron."

Pensioner being chased up stair lift by pensioners.

'My Dad just retired, and now he wants me to give him an allowance.'

"This says you're only 54. We need to cart you down to the rec center for questioning."

"Who gets Meals on Wheels?"

"I've given up the ghost"

'What did they give you - a gold watch or a cheque?'

'Grandma said the only thing you like to draw is your pension!'