Humorous Retirees Gifts

Oap recruitment.

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

"That's not what I meant when I suggested rocking on the porch, Mr. Clampwell."

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

When scientists come out of retirement.

'When you get older everything hurts... and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

Pensioners - Old ink Pens at the park sitting and walking

At the Old Bikers' Home

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

"My bottom went to sleep."

'This IS our retirement plan.'

"Help! I've fallen and my son is a disappointment!"

'One hundred is the new ninety!'

'Let's do something in bad taste.'

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

'Our retirement plan is state funded. When you retire, we give you a lottery ticket.'

"We've been here forty years - When do we get our golden parachutes?"

"Harry seldom leaves his retirement cubicle."

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

'At the Old Players' Home. . .

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.

Old fly...retirement home.

'The Retirement Village Blacksmith.'

"Who gets Meals on Wheels?"

'My Dad just retired, and now he wants me to give him an allowance.'

"I've given up the ghost"

'What did they give you - a gold watch or a cheque?'

'The Ladies Home Auxiliary claims responsibility.'

'Grandma said the only thing you like to draw is your pension!'

"It's mostly my medications and adjustable mattress."

Pensioner being chased up stair lift by pensioners.