Retirement Humor Appreciator Gifts

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

Ken and Barbie, corrected for age and anatomy.

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

W.C. Fields

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

When scientists come out of retirement.

"He may have a royal flush. He may have a pair of twos. It's impossible to tell since he had Botox."

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

You know your getting old when you have to put on your reading glasses to trim your eyebrows...

'All you do is stare at the TV. When I was a kid we have to be content with staring at the radio.'

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

Pensioners - Old ink Pens at the park sitting and walking

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

"Help! I've fallen and my son is a disappointment!"

"My bottom went to sleep."

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

'One hundred is the new ninety!'

"Harry seldom leaves his retirement cubicle."

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

Old fly...retirement home.

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

'How do you send text messages?'

'The Retirement Village Blacksmith.'

'Narcissism Helpline. How can you be of assistance?'

Top 10 signs you're getting older...

'How can I put this... My bladder is not what you'd call a 'control freak'.'

'Grandma said the only thing you like to draw is your pension!'

Pensioner being chased up stair lift by pensioners.

"I've given up the ghost"

"This says you're only 54. We need to cart you down to the rec center for questioning."