Retirement Joke Lover Gifts

"When I retired they gave me a gold watch. It stopped working when I did."

The Rural Bidet...

"That's not what I meant when I suggested rocking on the porch, Mr. Clampwell."

Pensioners - Old ink Pens at the park sitting and walking

Old basketball players never die. . . they just pick and roll.

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

"My bottom went to sleep."

'Our retirement plan is state funded. When you retire, we give you a lottery ticket.'

Old Pope's Home

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'

Bear Market

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.

Old fly...retirement home.

"I gotta stop, Ralph. . . one of my balls fell off!"

'The Retirement Village Blacksmith.'

'O.K...O.K...I won't mention retirement again!'

Oap recruitment.

"Enjoy your retirement. I'm sure you will survive all of us. Hahaha, just kidding!"

Act Your Age

"I'm sitting here going over all my troubles in my mind..."

"Who gets Meals on Wheels?"

'For a fur coat you have to kill a mammal, dummy!'

Old Yolk's Home.

It's the economy stupid...I'm with stupid.

"Do you have a minute to talk about your retirement years?"

'Help! I've fallen UP and I can't get back down!'

Dave talks about the life as a Paramedic...

'As a practioner of complimentary medicine, I must say you are marvellous for your age.'

'Okay, but you can't stay long.'

Getting old may mean getting good at 'getting lost'!

"There goes Wagstatte's retirement present"

Shot glasses of the elderly.

"Happy retirement, Bastable!"

'Sorry, you don't qualify for the early retirement package. You're too old.'

"Since he retired I like to keep him handy around the house."