Retirement Jokester Gifts

'Sorry, you don't qualify for the early retirement package. You're too old.'

Shot glasses of the elderly.

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

Cleaning the Horse

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"Yes, but you're a half hour late in dog minutes."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"What's my laptop. Your old room is now the computer room."

"You remind me very much of myself when I was your age, Carter, and there is no way that this company would employ such a person."

"We need someone who's responsible."

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

"Help! I've fallen and my son is a disappointment!"

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

'Says you like to play practical jokes.'

'Let me clarify something, Simpkins. . . I didn't say you were going to Mexico. . . I said your job is going to Mexico.'

"Harry seldom leaves his retirement cubicle."

STRIP Hambone: Techinical support in layman's terms #2

'The movie doesn't scare me - the commercials do.'

Still Alive

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

'Murder my spouse? Oh, that's nothing but an old wives' tale.'

'So we can fing out what is wrong with you granddad, I've asked him to bring in a couple of stools!'

Roger's computer crashes.

'I think I've found your expiration date.'

"I thought we said no presents!"

'Look at this advert. It looks exactly like my job.'

'Grandma said the only thing you like to draw is your pension!'

'Choose rich parents.'

'My Dad just retired, and now he wants me to give him an allowance.'