Retirement Jokester Mugs

'Sorry, you don't qualify for the early retirement package. You're too old.'

Shot glasses of the elderly.

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

Cleaning the Horse

Athen's Theater. "Oedipus Rex" didn't test well as a title, Sophocles. How would you feel about calling it "My Big Fat Greek Tragedy"?

When scientists come out of retirement.

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"Yes, but you're a half hour late in dog minutes."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

"What's my laptop. Your old room is now the computer room."

Old basketball players never die. . . they just pick and roll.

"You remind me very much of myself when I was your age, Carter, and there is no way that this company would employ such a person."

"We need someone who's responsible."

"Help! I've fallen and my son is a disappointment!"

'Says you like to play practical jokes.'

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

'Let me clarify something, Simpkins. . . I didn't say you were going to Mexico. . . I said your job is going to Mexico.'

STRIP Hambone: Techinical support in layman's terms #2

"Harry seldom leaves his retirement cubicle."

'So we can fing out what is wrong with you granddad, I've asked him to bring in a couple of stools!'

'The movie doesn't scare me - the commercials do.'

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

'Murder my spouse? Oh, that's nothing but an old wives' tale.'

Still Alive

Roger's computer crashes.

"I thought we said no presents!"

'I think I've found your expiration date.'

Act Your Age

'Choose rich parents.'

'My Dad just retired, and now he wants me to give him an allowance.'