Retirement Jokers Gifts

'O.K...O.K...I won't mention retirement again!'

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

Born Cynical,,,,

Pensioners - Old ink Pens at the park sitting and walking

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

'This IS our retirement plan.'

'Our retirement plan is state funded. When you retire, we give you a lottery ticket.'

Bear Market

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'

Santa replaces reindeer with a mobility scooter.

"Even though I wasn't making a big salary, I always saved ten percent of my messages."

Old fly...retirement home.

Oap recruitment.

"Who gets Meals on Wheels?"

"I'm sitting here going over all my troubles in my mind..."

Hey! I just figured out what I want to do with my life!

"When I retired they gave me a gold watch. It stopped working when I did."

'I asked why my Social Security check was late, and they transferred me to a number in Beijing.'

"Do you have a minute to talk about your retirement years?"

"He's retired, which means too much husband and not enough money."

Dave talks about the life as a Paramedic...

Retirement Communities

'As a practioner of complimentary medicine, I must say you are marvellous for your age.'

Shot glasses of the elderly.

"There goes Wagstatte's retirement present"

'Okay, but you can't stay long.'

'Maitland we had a rather splendid retirement party for you last night and someone had the fine idea of asking you to contribute to your retirement gift.'

Getting old may mean getting good at 'getting lost'!

"Happy retirement, Bastable!"

'Sorry, you don't qualify for the early retirement package. You're too old.'

"Since he retired I like to keep him handy around the house."

"Birthday cards by age. 40, 50, 60, 70, I can't believe you're still alive."