Pension Jokers Gifts

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

"He's retired, which means too much husband and not enough money."

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

Mismanagement Consultant.

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'The only way you can become a millionaire by investing in savings accounts, is to invest millions in savings accounts.'

Old basketball players never die. . . they just pick and roll.

"Let the minutes show we're not taking the pension fund and putting it all on the 2.30 at Newmarket."

'You say you saw my client do it. OK, but what if the jury doesn't believe you? Try to think outside the witness box.'

Louie 'The Egg' Spignoli, The Hangman's Nightmare

'Yes...our chief analyst is recommending further investments in the new year.'

The Jury Decides.

"Show-off!"

"It's ridiculous to claim that we've been rewarding investment managers foolishly!"

'How come you lock up the jury overnight, and send the prisoner home?'

"I now declare a thumb war."

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

"It was 'im wot ruffled me bonce, judge, as I was politely getting into 'is car."

'As to my clients guilt... let me be perfectly vague.'

"I've crunched the numbers in your retirement account. It's time to figure out who will be wearing the mask and who will be driving the getaway car."

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'

Court. No, you only get an attorney. You can't have a court appointed girlfriend.

"This plea bargaining has really gotten out of hand!"

"If you're worried about your retirement account, Ms. Mulvany, just read the crawl."

"Of course you're a flight risk! We're all flight risks!"

"I'm happy to say that my final judgement of a case is almost always consistent with my prejudgement of the case."

"No, Mr. Phelps, I have no idea where your pension went."

'Her pension fund must of collapsed like ours did.'

"We explained to the Minister that pension management fees were incredibly complex..."

Investing in aged care: 'Buy short memories!'