Pension Plan Prankster Gifts

"It's a real pleasure to do business with you..."

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

'Do your lawyers have to be here?'

"I'm in here...reallocating Dad's retirement account into junk bonds."

"That sweet raise everybody's been excited about is finally here. Enjoy it!"

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

"Let the minutes show we're not taking the pension fund and putting it all on the 2.30 at Newmarket."

"Mrs. Oliphant, what is the company policy on our company policy?"

Man's house has sign reading 'Sod the council'. His neighbour says: 'Frankly, I'm amazed you got planning permission.'

'...I expected a little more than... a sticky toffee with fluff on it.'

"Show-off!"

Happy Retirement

"Would you believe it, that pensions liberation plan was just an on-line scam..."

'The bank want to be sure that I don't vanish and forget the loan repayment...'

"I'm not a rule breaker, but the no eye blinking is going to be a tough one."

Colin was always looking for new ways to communicate complex financial products.

'Well, what if I were the last HETEROSEXUAL man on earth?'

"By the way, your insurance doesn't cover these tests...JUST KIDDING! That was the stress test."

'OK, give him a shove.'

'Insure your desert island for as little as.....'

'The numbers should look better this quarter since they've been photoshopped.'

'Ok, how many hours of community service for Murder One?'

'We're both collecting Social Security. But my husband supplements our income by losing money in the stock market.'

"He's retired, which means too much husband and not enough money."

"People whine on about NEST being to expensive for businesses with less than ten employees...but it's all nonsense! There won't be any businesses with less than ten staff!"

'Honey, do you want to marry...umh... Honey?'

First Infidelity Investments

'Right, now put it all in my savings account.'

"It's in your insurance policy - I have to operate with one hand tied behind my back..."

"Typical! I'm just making a claim on our insurance and they say it ran out just half an hour ago!"