Insurance Policy Prankster Gifts

'Insure your desert island for as little as.....'

"Remember, Mr. Jones, whatever doesn't kill you makes your health insurance premiums go up."

'The frog is deceased, Mr. Graham. You don't need malpractice insurance.'

"I think it says 'courgettes'."

'I told Dad you painted his car!'

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

"The transformation is pretty bad, but the worst part is filling out the paperwork for the adverse events."

"I'm in here...reallocating Dad's retirement account into junk bonds."

MD. Take this prescription to any grandma and get some milk and cookies.

'Dr. Frisinger thinks he may have left a clamp in you.'

"Mrs. Oliphant, what is the company policy on our company policy?"

'The bank want to be sure that I don't vanish and forget the loan repayment...'

"I really do think I could be an anarchist, but my insurance won't cover that."

"I'm not a rule breaker, but the no eye blinking is going to be a tough one."

'We're out of sugar pills, so I'm giving you some M&M's.'

'What possessed you to stick a fork into the toaster?' 'It's easy to be wise after the event!'

"My goodness, Mr. Merryweather, we certainly did make a boo-boo with that prescription of yours!"

"Police believe the gunman acted alone. True. My client's an actor and believed he was auditioning for a part."

"A modicum of barking is required on my part, but then I'll let you in if you'll let me out."

"Take two pills every four hours. Or, take four pills every two hours and get better even faster." What he thought he heard.

'Take 3 tablets 200 times a day.'

'Don't worry. This will hurt your insurance company more than it will hurt you.'

"Nigel's boss told him to get in the conference photos at all costs"

"By the way, your insurance doesn't cover these tests...JUST KIDDING! That was the stress test."

"What makes you think you got your medication mixed up with your wife's?"

'The health plan will cover you and up to three dwarves.'

"I'm not sure if this is good or bad. . . he's allergic to H.M.O.'s!"

"Frankly, our dental plan bites."

"Have you considered insurance, rego, third party, tolls, resale..."

'Looks like your insurance does not cover pre-existing organs.'

Wonderland Hospital. To Patient Rooms. Nurse. Go wake up Rip Van Winkle -- His HMO finally authorized his treatment.

'The numbers should look better this quarter since they've been photoshopped.'

"Oh, no, I'm sorry a Level 2 badge isn't what you thought."

'Not exactly what I expected when they announced a random drug screening.'

"You've got something very rare. Good health insurance."