Insurance Policy Joke Lover Gifts

"I'm sorry Mr. President, but your insurance policy for the army's vehicles, ships and planes does not cover damaged inflicted during war."

"Remember, Mr. Jones, whatever doesn't kill you makes your health insurance premiums go up."

'The frog is deceased, Mr. Graham. You don't need malpractice insurance.'

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

'...in sickness and in health, with full coverage or without...'

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

'Your policy doesn't cover you against huffing and puffing.'

"I really do think I could be an anarchist, but my insurance won't cover that."

'We may have to postpone medically probing you until we can confirm you have insurance to pay for it.'

'Of course, one advantage to lethal injection is that Medicaid might pay for it.'

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."

'Hello, I'd like to apply for some property insurance.'

'I'm sorry, but your husband's life insurance policy only covered his eighth life.'

Slipping Insurance $5.

"Have you noticed, our insurance policy has expired?"

"No, its not a pre-existing condition."

"I have eternal life? Does that mean I can cancel my life insurance policy?"

Insurance agents in Heaven.

'I'm sorry, but when you took out the policy, you never specified that it was a mobile home.'

'Don't worry. This will hurt your insurance company more than it will hurt you.'

'There's good news and there's bad news. The bad news is that you're very ill, and the bad news is that your medical insurance has expired... Oh I'm sorry, did I say there was good news?'

'The health plan will cover you and up to three dwarves.'

Yeah, your rates are very good, but your ads on TV just aren't funny enough

Larry knew how to close a sale.

"Have you considered insurance, rego, third party, tolls, resale..."

"There is a cat in this basket and I want to take out baggage insurance that will insure that it gets forwarded to some godforsaken place in the middle of nowhere!"

Your medical insurance ran out? Like it was being chased by a grizzly bear.

Nurse. It's from your insurance company -- A "Get well-final notice" card.

'I'm afraid your late wife's life insurance policy didn't cover culinary disasters.'

"And that plan covers Acts of God, right?"

"You've got something very rare. Good health insurance."

"Frankly, our dental plan bites."

Wonderland Hospital. To Patient Rooms. Nurse. Go wake up Rip Van Winkle -- His HMO finally authorized his treatment.