Insurance Humor Lover Gifts

"Forgive me, Big Al, for I've been involved in an accident."

'Sorry, sir, but your insurance does not cover a third eye.'

"And with this policy, we'll replace any damaged rocks with new rocks with any deduction for depreciation."

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

'Full liability insurance coverage guaranteed.'

"Well, if you're sure it'll get me an Obamacare exemption..."

"Remember, Mr. Jones, whatever doesn't kill you makes your health insurance premiums go up."

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'The frog is deceased, Mr. Graham. You don't need malpractice insurance.'

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'...in sickness and in health, with full coverage or without...'

'Hi! -- I'm selling theory insurance!'

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

So...who is your provider ?

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

'Your policy doesn't cover you against huffing and puffing.'

"Is this Bart from Country Farm? This is Dan the Unrideable. Yep, happened again. "

"Under our health care plan, you get low premiums, a low deductible and a free, yearly probe."

'Of course, one advantage to lethal injection is that Medicaid might pay for it.'

"I really do think I could be an anarchist, but my insurance won't cover that."

'We may have to postpone medically probing you until we can confirm you have insurance to pay for it.'

"Apparently, all the King's horses and all the King's men were out of Humpty's healthcare provider network."

'Hello, I'd like to apply for some property insurance.'

"Can I interest you in nine life policies?"

Slipping Insurance $5.

'I'm sorry, but your husband's life insurance policy only covered his eighth life.'

"No, its not a pre-existing condition."

"I was really hoping we wouldn't have to get insurance involved."

"Have you noticed, our insurance policy has expired?"

"I have eternal life? Does that mean I can cancel my life insurance policy?"

'Hello, I'm selling life insurance. Tell me, sir, are you covered?'

Insurance agents in Heaven.

'Sorry Sir, but you don't seem to be covered for hail damage...'