Insurance Humor Lover Gifts

"And with this policy, we'll replace any damaged rocks with new rocks with any deduction for depreciation."

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

'Full liability insurance coverage guaranteed.'

"Remember, Mr. Jones, whatever doesn't kill you makes your health insurance premiums go up."

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'The frog is deceased, Mr. Graham. You don't need malpractice insurance.'

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

'Hi! -- I'm selling theory insurance!'

'...in sickness and in health, with full coverage or without...'

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

So...who is your provider ?

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

'Your policy doesn't cover you against huffing and puffing.'

'We may have to postpone medically probing you until we can confirm you have insurance to pay for it.'

"I really do think I could be an anarchist, but my insurance won't cover that."

"Under our health care plan, you get low premiums, a low deductible and a free, yearly probe."

'Of course, one advantage to lethal injection is that Medicaid might pay for it.'

"Is this Bart from Country Farm? This is Dan the Unrideable. Yep, happened again. "

'Hello, I'd like to apply for some property insurance.'

"Can I interest you in nine life policies?"

Slipping Insurance $5.

'I'm sorry, but your husband's life insurance policy only covered his eighth life.'

"I was really hoping we wouldn't have to get insurance involved."

'Hello, I'm selling life insurance. Tell me, sir, are you covered?'

"Have you noticed, our insurance policy has expired?"

"I have eternal life? Does that mean I can cancel my life insurance policy?"

"No, its not a pre-existing condition."

Insurance agents in Heaven.

'Sorry Sir, but you don't seem to be covered for hail damage...'

'I'm sorry, but when you took out the policy, you never specified that it was a mobile home.'

'Don't worry. This will hurt your insurance company more than it will hurt you.'

Fire/Dental Insurance Policy - "If your teeth ever go up in flames you'll be completely covered."

Yeah, your rates are very good, but your ads on TV just aren't funny enough