Insurance Joke Lover Gifts

'The frog is deceased, Mr. Graham. You don't need malpractice insurance.'

'Don't worry. This will hurt your insurance company more than it will hurt you.'

Rudy, will you wear this? Sure. Why? We're playing and we need help. My foot fell off, my arms won't move, and my breath is smelly. I can fix that. First, I have one question … Who is your insurance company? Well, I … I'm afraid you're not covered, sir. You can find a doctor in your plan or pay out-of-network. Your deductible is a gazillion dollars. Waaah! Okay insurance man, toss him into the street! Paying doctor isn't what it used to be.

"You've got something very rare. Good health insurance."

"I really do think I could be an anarchist, but my insurance won't cover that."

"Remember, Mr. Jones, whatever doesn't kill you makes your health insurance premiums go up."

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'...in sickness and in health, with full coverage or without...'

'Hi! -- I'm selling theory insurance!'

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

So...who is your provider ?

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

'Your policy doesn't cover you against huffing and puffing.'

"Is this Bart from Country Farm? This is Dan the Unrideable. Yep, happened again. "

"Under our health care plan, you get low premiums, a low deductible and a free, yearly probe."

'We may have to postpone medically probing you until we can confirm you have insurance to pay for it.'

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."

'Hello, I'd like to apply for some property insurance.'

"Can I interest you in nine life policies?"

'I'm sorry, but your husband's life insurance policy only covered his eighth life.'

Slipping Insurance $5.

'Hello, I'm selling life insurance. Tell me, sir, are you covered?'

"I have eternal life? Does that mean I can cancel my life insurance policy?"

"Have you noticed, our insurance policy has expired?"

"I was really hoping we wouldn't have to get insurance involved."

"No, its not a pre-existing condition."

Insurance agents in Heaven.

'Sorry Sir, but you don't seem to be covered for hail damage...'

'I'm sorry, but when you took out the policy, you never specified that it was a mobile home.'

Fire/Dental Insurance Policy - "If your teeth ever go up in flames you'll be completely covered."

"No, I don't think our insurance covers alien invasions. Why?"

"How do you feel about duct tape?"