Insurance Humor Fan Gifts

'I'm sorry, but when you took out the policy, you never specified that it was a mobile home.'

Boudica is unhappy with her quote for chariot insurance.

'And what to tell our insurance company?'

Yeah, your rates are very good, but your ads on TV just aren't funny enough

'We may have to postpone medically probing you until we can confirm you have insurance to pay for it.'

"I need life insurance. Period of validity at least 790 years."

"No ma'am, 'bad faith insurance' doesn't protect you against a crooked televangelist."

"I have eternal life? Does that mean I can cancel my life insurance policy?"

"How should I know? You're the one that had the health insurance ID card last."

"Remember, Mr. Jones, whatever doesn't kill you makes your health insurance premiums go up."

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'The frog is deceased, Mr. Graham. You don't need malpractice insurance.'

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'...in sickness and in health, with full coverage or without...'

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

'Hi! -- I'm selling theory insurance!'

So...who is your provider ?

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

'Your policy doesn't cover you against huffing and puffing.'

"Under our health care plan, you get low premiums, a low deductible and a free, yearly probe."

"Apparently, all the King's horses and all the King's men were out of Humpty's healthcare provider network."

"Is this Bart from Country Farm? This is Dan the Unrideable. Yep, happened again. "

"I really do think I could be an anarchist, but my insurance won't cover that."

'Hello, I'd like to apply for some property insurance.'

"Can I interest you in nine life policies?"

'I'm sorry, but your husband's life insurance policy only covered his eighth life.'

Slipping Insurance $5.

'Hello, I'm selling life insurance. Tell me, sir, are you covered?'

"Have you noticed, our insurance policy has expired?"

"No, its not a pre-existing condition."

"You're doing fine, and we're cautiously optimistic about your insurance."

"I was really hoping we wouldn't have to get insurance involved."

Insurance agents in Heaven.