Insurance Comedy Fan Gifts

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

"Remember, Mr. Jones, whatever doesn't kill you makes your health insurance premiums go up."

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'The frog is deceased, Mr. Graham. You don't need malpractice insurance.'

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'Hi! -- I'm selling theory insurance!'

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

'...in sickness and in health, with full coverage or without...'

So...who is your provider ?

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

'Your policy doesn't cover you against huffing and puffing.'

"I really do think I could be an anarchist, but my insurance won't cover that."

"Is this Bart from Country Farm? This is Dan the Unrideable. Yep, happened again. "

"Apparently, all the King's horses and all the King's men were out of Humpty's healthcare provider network."

"Under our health care plan, you get low premiums, a low deductible and a free, yearly probe."

'Which health plan are you on?'

'We may have to postpone medically probing you until we can confirm you have insurance to pay for it.'

'Hello, I'd like to apply for some property insurance.'

"Can I interest you in nine life policies?"

'I'm sorry, but your husband's life insurance policy only covered his eighth life.'

Slipping Insurance $5.

"No, its not a pre-existing condition."

"You're doing fine, and we're cautiously optimistic about your insurance."

"I have eternal life? Does that mean I can cancel my life insurance policy?"

"Any pre-existing conditions?"

'Hello, I'm selling life insurance. Tell me, sir, are you covered?'

"I was really hoping we wouldn't have to get insurance involved."

"Have you noticed, our insurance policy has expired?"

Insurance agents in Heaven.

'Sorry Sir, but you don't seem to be covered for hail damage...'

'I'm sorry, but when you took out the policy, you never specified that it was a mobile home.'

Fire/Dental Insurance Policy - "If your teeth ever go up in flames you'll be completely covered."

'Don't worry. This will hurt your insurance company more than it will hurt you.'

"No, I don't think our insurance covers alien invasions. Why?"