Insurance Joke Enthusiasts Gifts

Direct Line telephone being hit by a car.

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Remember, Mr. Jones, whatever doesn't kill you makes your health insurance premiums go up."

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'The frog is deceased, Mr. Graham. You don't need malpractice insurance.'

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

'...in sickness and in health, with full coverage or without...'

'Hi! -- I'm selling theory insurance!'

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

So...who is your provider ?

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

'Your policy doesn't cover you against huffing and puffing.'

"Under our health care plan, you get low premiums, a low deductible and a free, yearly probe."

"I really do think I could be an anarchist, but my insurance won't cover that."

'We may have to postpone medically probing you until we can confirm you have insurance to pay for it.'

"Is this Bart from Country Farm? This is Dan the Unrideable. Yep, happened again. "

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."

'Hello, I'd like to apply for some property insurance.'

"Can I interest you in nine life policies?"

'I'm sorry, but your husband's life insurance policy only covered his eighth life.'

Slipping Insurance $5.

"I have eternal life? Does that mean I can cancel my life insurance policy?"

'Hello, I'm selling life insurance. Tell me, sir, are you covered?'

"Have you noticed, our insurance policy has expired?"

"I was really hoping we wouldn't have to get insurance involved."

Insurance agents in Heaven.

'Sorry Sir, but you don't seem to be covered for hail damage...'

'I'm sorry, but when you took out the policy, you never specified that it was a mobile home.'

Fire/Dental Insurance Policy - "If your teeth ever go up in flames you'll be completely covered."

"No, I don't think our insurance covers alien invasions. Why?"

'Don't worry. This will hurt your insurance company more than it will hurt you.'

Yeah, your rates are very good, but your ads on TV just aren't funny enough

Larry knew how to close a sale.