Retirement Jester Gifts

"Even though I wasn't making a big salary, I always saved ten percent of my messages."

'Maitland we had a rather splendid retirement party for you last night and someone had the fine idea of asking you to contribute to your retirement gift.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"We're following Carrot Top."

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Stepping on clown's shoe...

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

Women in a cross country race

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Make sport of the Queen.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

"Just to be on the safe side, I'd like to start an aggressive course of billing you."

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

Road to Recovery: Snakes and Ladders.

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

"I can't create your bride until you make your co-pay."

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

'I've just thought of a way to save the company £1800 a month.'

Never poke fun.

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

"I got whiplash when I recoiled from your quote."

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'You should probably just ignore that. Your insurance doesn't even begin to cover it.'

I'll catch up to you --- I just need my second wind.