Frugal Jester Gifts

Thrift: Marry someone without fingers... Save on buying a ring!

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

At the 2021 Religious Games

Why markets crash.

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Smart card.

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

'Wait a minute....!

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"Are you sure you haven't overvalued the worth of your business?"

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

"Of course we're not in a recession. No one has even jumped out of a window."

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled

Dec. 26

'... so I decided to make us all fabulous new outfits from the Guardian environment supplement!'