Frugal Jester Gifts

Thrift: Marry someone without fingers... Save on buying a ring!

At the 2021 Religious Games

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

Why markets crash.

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Smart card.

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'Wait a minute....!

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

"Of course we're not in a recession. No one has even jumped out of a window."

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled

Dec. 26

'... so I decided to make us all fabulous new outfits from the Guardian environment supplement!'

Road to Recovery: Snakes and Ladders.