Happy Old-timer Gifts

Indentured Birthday Cake

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

You had me at vintage.

"Convertible. Must be nice."

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

'Mr. Franklin. What did I tell you about wheelies in the hallway?'

Geriatrics clinic: 'Wine, women and song, Doc! But not swashbuckling too!'

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

'Didn't anyone tell you this is an old people's home?'

Goodbye Party Today - Prof Whiley is Retiring to Spend More Time with his Inner Child.

"Dude has got his s**t together!"

"Since Ronnie retired, I like to keep him busy with plenty of activities."

"The wild walker"

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

100th Birthday

"You've lost a little weight since your last physical, but you're also two inches shorter."

Exercise Classes for the over 60s - Pottering 8pm.

'There's no ice so I dropped my teeth in it.'

'Hey, Flower! That crabgrass put a perfectly legal chokehold on you! Stop your whining!'

"I'm prescribing my mother for your insomnia. She'll call you tonight to talk about her grandchildren."

"He's been in there for about three weeks. . . I warned him that he was too old to sit in a seventies bean bag."

'It's an old biking injury.'

Lift chair fun!

Pensioner being chased up stair lift by pensioners.

"Enjoy your retirement. I'm sure you will survive all of us. Hahaha, just kidding!"

Todays feisty seniors

"Mom, when you want some privacy wear this. No one will come within 20 feet of you!"

"Welcome to my third annual Senior Soak-A-Palooza!"

Do not dare ask me about my grandchildren!