Joyful Senior Gifts

"The gall of that woman! She's actually ENJOYING her retirement!"

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

'True, I was all for your taking up a hobby on retirement, but, TIGHTROPE-WALKING...!'

'Didn't anyone tell you this is an old people's home?'

As a louder and more satisfying alternative to clapping, Lily uses her bingo wings.

'Our relationship is getting serious. He's taking me to meet his doctor.'

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

A granny tortoise with a quilted shell.

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat

'The last time he jogged past the cemetery, the gravediggers tried to bury him'

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

100th Birthday

These retirement do's aren't as wild as I remember!

'I don't know what's the matter - I just don't seem to have my old zip.'

"This is not exactly how I envisioned watching the grass grow in my retirement."

"The wild walker"

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Pensioners Ahead

Challenges of old age

'There's no ice so I dropped my teeth in it.'

"...and make sure you get food with plenty of preservatives in it"