Flirty Senior Gifts

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

'I'll show you my fine print, if you show me yours.'

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"

'Didn't anyone tell you this is an old people's home?'

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

"I'm afraid a hearing aid will make me look old."

'Our relationship is getting serious. He's taking me to meet his doctor.'

"You've got a green light - use it!"

'You look like a fun guy!'

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"The wild walker"

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"It's mostly my medications and adjustable mattress."

Lift chair fun!

Pensioner being chased up stair lift by pensioners.

"...and make sure you get food with plenty of preservatives in it"

Senior Pick-Up Lines

'There's no ice so I dropped my teeth in it.'

"You have a beautiful smile. It would look great in a glass of water next to my bed."

"Welcome to my third annual Senior Soak-A-Palooza!"

"Oh, I stopped wearing one. At my age there's no point in trying to fool Mother Nature."

"The gall of that woman! She's actually ENJOYING her retirement!"

96 is the new 3.