Nostalgic Old-timer Gifts

Geriatrics clinic: 'Wine, women and song, Doc! But not swashbuckling too!'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

Before the Internet

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

'Bring out yer books!'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

'Jerry's 'old school'.'

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

Fun (circa 1955)

'New Game'

'Thirty years from now, this will seem terribly quaint and awash in charming period detail.'

"I'm thinking of getting the old band back together."

Why Do Old Hippies Smile?

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

An Abacus in the form of 70s Pop group ABBA

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

The Paper Route

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

Back in my day, we were drawn with ink on paper, not on some fancy digital pad, but at least we knew we existed.