Old-school Nostalgics Gifts

Church in the year 2035.

"Everybody meets online these days."

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

Bell ringer.

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

The Presidential Physical Fitness Test

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

"I've been able to pay attention a lot more in class since the teacher separated us."

Back to School Supplies - 1928 'A new hat?!!' 2006 - 'There's more in the car.'

The boss is sending me back to school.

'I guess my love for Miss Rogers is over...I passed third grade.'

'I was only promoted to fourth grade ten minutes ago, and I've already wiped third grade out of my mind.'

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

"Forty years ago on this very seat I proposed to you. Made up your mind yet?"

'Rorschach multiple-choice test'

'These are the happiest years of my life, eh? -- you obviously haven't met my algebra teacher!'

Prom 2020

'Mom calls this a diary where you write private thoughts no one else can see. What fun is that?'

'Remind me again darling - what were we just arguing about?'

Teddy organ grinder

"Sorry, I double-booked. This wouldn't happen if I had a computer - but they insist we do everything by hand."

Workers constructing barcodes

"I'm old school. Pass me a handwritten note."

Existentialist Amnesia Clinic

"We've known each other for a while now, so I feel it's the right time to ask – are you a psychological manifestation of my nostalgic longing of a romanticised past?"

'You don't believe that stuff about classroom 213 being haunted, do you?'

'This is just like middle school, except here, they have a dedicated room to demoralise you.'

'This is what we use for that 'new school year' smell.'

"I recall losing respect for the 1970s when I got a mood ring and pet rock for my birthday."

'Mmm that's a bit different for 8:45.'