Getting Glasses Pillows

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'And you DROVE here, Mr. Hartwelder?'

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

"I just got a new high-def television, but I can't enjoy it because I have low-def eyesight."

'You should ... oh, I see you finally did get your eyes checked.'

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Summertime

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'This is way better than a litter box.'

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Overkill, dude."

'No cheating'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

"Think of these as the car your face is driving."

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

The public was right

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

The optician's arrival ended Phil's short sightedness and his 15 year island exile.

'Now that's what I CALL a spectacle case.'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

Vicar In Spectacles

"They don't make me look too owlish, do they?"

'I think the eye doctor got my prescription glasses mixed up with somebody else's.'

'My doctor wants me to watch what I eat, so I'm here for glasses.'

"Would you rather be smart or funny?"