Getting Glasses Pillows

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'And you DROVE here, Mr. Hartwelder?'

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

"I just got a new high-def television, but I can't enjoy it because I have low-def eyesight."

'You should ... oh, I see you finally did get your eyes checked.'

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Summertime

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"Overkill, dude."

'No cheating'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

"Think of these as the car your face is driving."

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

The public was right

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

The optician's arrival ended Phil's short sightedness and his 15 year island exile.

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

'Now that's what I CALL a spectacle case.'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

Vicar In Spectacles

'My doctor wants me to watch what I eat, so I'm here for glasses.'

"Would you rather be smart or funny?"

"They don't make me look too owlish, do they?"

'The spots are much clearer.'

'I think the eye doctor got my prescription glasses mixed up with somebody else's.'

'Well you're an eye doctor aren't you'