New Glasses Prescription Pillows

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"Talk nerdy to me."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'No cheating'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

The public was right

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

"Think of these as the car your face is driving."

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

The optician's arrival ended Phil's short sightedness and his 15 year island exile.

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

'Now that's what I CALL a spectacle case.'

"It's ok for you! My cartoonist just can't adapt to his new varifocals!!"

"Everybody says that without the specs I look like Grover Cleveland and with them I look like Theodore Roosevelt."

'The spots are much clearer.'

"Would you rather be smart or funny?"

"Clean your specs, lady?"

"They don't make me look too owlish, do they?"

'My doctor wants me to watch what I eat, so I'm here for glasses.'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

Vicar In Spectacles

"You may believe you've been overcharged, but, remember, you're overmedicated."