Prescriptions Pillows

"You may believe you've been overcharged, but, remember, you're overmedicated."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

Doctors

"Take 4 teaspoons of this medicine every day. . ."

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

43rd Annual Doctors Convention

"I can see you're concerned about the amount of medication you're taking. Let me see if I can give you something for that."

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

"Ok, here's another one about antibiotics. . ."

"Take one of these every 4 hours for the side effects from your prescription."

The secret of marriage is chemistry - he's on valium and I'm on prozac

Jack in the Box Viagra

'I can tell this prescription is a phony. The doctor's signature is legible.'

'Don't worry. That questionnaire is a lot more intrusive than your surgery will be.'

"My job is to confirm your 15 prescriptions are compatible."

'If I knew exactly where I lost his insulin - it would not be lost - would it!?!'

Warning: Do not send any emails while taking this medication

"We're out of the 500 mg size."

"For your mood swings I'm prescribing the feel-good movie of the year. It's rated Rx."

"I think I see why the eyedrops aren't working."

"With this prescription you get your choice of two over the counter medications free."

"He told me to take 3 pills twice a day or 7 pills every other day or 23 pills once a week. I think it's a placebo."

'...I forgot to refill my ulcer prescription.'

"My doctor has me on a lot of prescriptions."

'I never thought of that, but child proof containers DO drive up the cost of health care.'

T-Shorts: 'The ad said: 'Ask your doctor!' I did, and he said it was crapola!'

"I'm out of purple pills. Can I take 1 blue and 1 red instead?"

Glasses

'Jerry, the Hermans take the same pharmaceuticals we do!'

"You forgot to pick up my prescription, didn't you?"

Retirement and healthcare.