Prescription For Fun Pillows

43rd Annual Doctors Convention

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

"We only test our drugs on plants, so we have to do lots and lots of extrapolating."

"I think it says 'courgettes'."

"And that one's for the relief of anxiety caused by the high cost of medication."

MD. Take this prescription to any grandma and get some milk and cookies.

'Take two a day and in a couple of years you'll be a pharmacist!'

"You may believe you've been overcharged, but, remember, you're overmedicated."

"It appears you have medication forgetfulness disorder, which, as you can imagine, is untreatable."

'This is our most efficient inhibition blocker. It's 99% alcohol.'

'The side effects are headaches, sweating,nervousness, and a depressed bank account.'

"Ok, here's another one about antibiotics. . ."

"We've got to cut the drugs budget somehow, pass me the twigs and the bat droppings!"

Never make a doctors appointment on Take Your Kids to Work Day.

"If you feel the hear pounding rush of first love, all your doctor."

'You've gotta help me! I can't read my own writing!'

'Fill it up, hold the cotton.'

'We're out of sugar pills, so I'm giving you some M&M's.'

It's a new electronic child-proof pill container

RX baseball hat

"My goodness, Mr. Merryweather, we certainly did make a boo-boo with that prescription of yours!"

"Take two pills every four hours. Or, take four pills every two hours and get better even faster." What he thought he heard.

'It says not to use heavy machinery when taking these. What's heavy machinery?'

'Take 3 tablets 200 times a day.'

"What makes you think you got your medication mixed up with your wife's?"

"Don't chew them. They're supposed to hatch in your intestines."

"It doesn't come with any cap at all. You're to take one every two minutes."

'A tickle in your throat that won't go away? We'll just see about that.'

Push In And Turn

'Not exactly what I expected when they announced a random drug screening.'

"Yeah, three loops with a line through them. What drug is that?"

'According to this, the only drug your HMO covers is aspirin, and it has to be generic.'