Prescription For Fun Gifts

43rd Annual Doctors Convention

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

"We only test our drugs on plants, so we have to do lots and lots of extrapolating."

"I think it says 'courgettes'."

"And that one's for the relief of anxiety caused by the high cost of medication."

'Take two a day and in a couple of years you'll be a pharmacist!'

"You may believe you've been overcharged, but, remember, you're overmedicated."

"It appears you have medication forgetfulness disorder, which, as you can imagine, is untreatable."

'The side effects are headaches, sweating,nervousness, and a depressed bank account.'

'This is our most efficient inhibition blocker. It's 99% alcohol.'

"We've got to cut the drugs budget somehow, pass me the twigs and the bat droppings!"

"Ok, here's another one about antibiotics. . ."

Never make a doctors appointment on Take Your Kids to Work Day.

"If you feel the hear pounding rush of first love, all your doctor."

'You've gotta help me! I can't read my own writing!'

'Fill it up, hold the cotton.'

RX baseball hat

"My goodness, Mr. Merryweather, we certainly did make a boo-boo with that prescription of yours!"

It's a new electronic child-proof pill container

"Take two pills every four hours. Or, take four pills every two hours and get better even faster." What he thought he heard.

'Take 3 tablets 200 times a day.'

'It says not to use heavy machinery when taking these. What's heavy machinery?'

"Don't chew them. They're supposed to hatch in your intestines."

"Yeah, three loops with a line through them. What drug is that?"

"It doesn't come with any cap at all. You're to take one every two minutes."

Push In And Turn

'Not exactly what I expected when they announced a random drug screening.'

'A tickle in your throat that won't go away? We'll just see about that.'

'According to this, the only drug your HMO covers is aspirin, and it has to be generic.'

Pharmacy - "And these blue ones are for the stomach cramps the red ones are going to give you."