Pharmaceutical Fun Gifts

'According to this, the only drug your HMO covers is aspirin, and it has to be generic.'

Pharmacy - "And these blue ones are for the stomach cramps the red ones are going to give you."

"We've got to cut the drugs budget somehow, pass me the twigs and the bat droppings!"

'What goes well with Viagra'

"Here it reads that the medication the doctor prescribed to you might have some side effects..."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

"We only test our drugs on plants, so we have to do lots and lots of extrapolating."

Sea of Tranquillity

'Someone's here who'd like you to spend 30 days on an island with 1,000 doctors and some pain pills.'

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

43rd Annual Doctors Convention

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

'This is our most efficient inhibition blocker. It's 99% alcohol.'

We need to up your dosage or lower mine.

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

Never make a doctors appointment on Take Your Kids to Work Day.

"Would you like to supersize that?"

You take'm through the nose, you pay through the nose.

"Two options. This drug won't cure you, but the side effects are terrific. This other drug will cure you, but the side effects are worse than the original disease."

You say the plumage has lasted longer than four hours?

"This pill is the only thing that will cure you. The good news is that it's up to you whether or not you take it orally."

'Your physician has to have more confidence in e-prescribing. He followed up with a fax, an e-mail, and a phone call.'

"We came up with a pill that cures everything...but I'm warning you, it's gonna be expensive."

"This is wonderful. It will help millions of people."

"Okay, we're through with the animal testing phase."

It's a new electronic child-proof pill container

"That's the strongest teeth whitener we carry. Smile in the dark and your mouth becomes a night light."

"Wow... you're actually calling me the next day!"

'I took one look at the prescription price and ruptured a blood vessel!'