Pharmacy Fun Gifts

'This is our most efficient inhibition blocker. It's 99% alcohol.'

You're supposed to be in the deli, Mrs. White! Free samples.

Pharmacy. Prescription. Don't worry about that --- After paying for those you can't afford to drive!

"We only test our drugs on plants, so we have to do lots and lots of extrapolating."

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

Laxatives - "I'm after some comic relief."

"In school we learned about Staten Island. Is that where they make all those pills you take?"

'Side effects may include....'

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

Doctors

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'Have there been any side effects from the medicine?'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

Medication for the elderly

Funny, this is the same pill the head of the price-gouging drug company needs to take so he can sleep at night, too. Pharmac …

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

'The FDA now requires that we have an actor show you what kinds of side effects you might experience.'