Pharmacy Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"They won't help you... but what the heck, they won't hurt you either."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

Side Effects

"It's a very rare disease - it doesn't have a cure. It doesn't even have a spokesperson."

Placebonex: 'Make sure to take it every day, otherwise the effect wears off.'

'The Nobel prize for medicine was awarded to Dr. Quentin R. Owlsey, who developed an anesthetic that leaves patients capable of writing checks.'

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

Sea of Tranquillity

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

"Hi! My name is Kevin, and I'll be your doctor today."

'Have you got anything for late onset whimsy?'

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

'The NHS believes in a carrot and stick approach to motivation...'

'When we talk about a 'needs' led service. The 'NEED' is to stay in budget!'

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"I might suggest Ritalin."

'I'd like a diagnosis of the disease and a prognosis of the bill.'

'I DID work out today, doc. Sitting all afternoon in your waiting room was a real exercise in frustration!'

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

'These are your parking charges.'

'I'd like a late afternoon appointment please. To give his hands a chance to warm up.'

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

We need to up your dosage or lower mine.

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

"Please have a seat over by the door, sir - We're looking for a volunteer to examine you."