Pharma Humor Lover Gifts

"This medication did take care of my rash. However, like the TV commercial claimed, it did come with a few side effects."

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

Sea of Tranquillity

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

We need to up your dosage or lower mine.

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

"I like my job because I can afford better psychotropic drugs than my colleagues!"

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

R. Dough, M.D. - Eye, Ear, Nose, Throat & Big Pharma Stock.

"No, it's not mentioned in the side effects. But you have noticed that it's a full moon tonight, haven't you?"

Standup Pharmacist

Leo and Florence Wolfe play medication commercial BINGO during the nightly news.

You say the plumage has lasted longer than four hours?

'Your physician has to have more confidence in e-prescribing. He followed up with a fax, an e-mail, and a phone call.'

'You have a choice. An ultra-expensive medication that may cure you but has the side-effect of bankruptcy, OR a low-priced medication with a side-effect of a near-death experience.'

Werewolf prone? Try our MoonBlock.

"That's the strongest teeth whitener we carry. Smile in the dark and your mouth becomes a night light."

'Sorry, sir, but that's what your prescription seems to say.'

"I feel so calm and relaxed when we're together."

Stool Softener

'Is excruciating pain an 'untoward reaction'?'

Push In And Turn

"They won't help you... but what the heck, they won't hurt you either."

'...and this one's a freebie from the pharmaceutical company that keeps you addicted to your other medications.'

"Take the green pill to feel hunky, the yellow pill to feel dory."

'Take them until further testing shows they really aren't effective.'

'I'm going to prescribe something that works like aspirin but costs much, much more.'