Pharmaceutical Humorist Gifts

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"I feel so calm and relaxed when we're together."

You say the plumage has lasted longer than four hours?

Hello, I'm Kenny, and I'll be your doctor this afternoon. Would you care to start with something from the medicine cabinet? ? ?

Little Pharm.

'Is excruciating pain an 'untoward reaction'?'

Sea of Tranquillity

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"Do you have cotton wool balls. . ?"

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

"Your report card says you don't interact well with other medications."

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

Jugular Vein

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

"It's what the people want. You run wild for a couple of hours and then - zap - you're back to normal."

'Our trials show that the new drug performs no better than placebo.'

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

"Doctor - can I administer my own anaesthetic?"

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

Leo and Florence Wolfe play medication commercial BINGO during the nightly news.

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"