Pharmaceutical Humorist Pillows

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"I feel so calm and relaxed when we're together."

Little Pharm.

'Is excruciating pain an 'untoward reaction'?'

Sea of Tranquillity

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"Do you have cotton wool balls. . ?"

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

"Your report card says you don't interact well with other medications."

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

"It's what the people want. You run wild for a couple of hours and then - zap - you're back to normal."

Jugular Vein

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

'Our trials show that the new drug performs no better than placebo.'

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

"Doctor - can I administer my own anaesthetic?"

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

Standup Pharmacist

Leo and Florence Wolfe play medication commercial BINGO during the nightly news.

"… Yes, but you only have to take it once a year."

"No, it's not mentioned in the side effects. But you have noticed that it's a full moon tonight, haven't you?"

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

R. Dough, M.D. - Eye, Ear, Nose, Throat & Big Pharma Stock.