Pharma Humor Pillows

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

Sea of Tranquillity

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

"Your report card says you don't interact well with other medications."

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"It's what the people want. You run wild for a couple of hours and then - zap - you're back to normal."

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

'Our trials show that the new drug performs no better than placebo.'

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

Leo and Florence Wolfe play medication commercial BINGO during the nightly news.

R. Dough, M.D. - Eye, Ear, Nose, Throat & Big Pharma Stock.

Standup Pharmacist

"No, it's not mentioned in the side effects. But you have noticed that it's a full moon tonight, haven't you?"

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

'Your physician has to have more confidence in e-prescribing. He followed up with a fax, an e-mail, and a phone call.'

'You have a choice. An ultra-expensive medication that may cure you but has the side-effect of bankruptcy, OR a low-priced medication with a side-effect of a near-death experience.'

'And me fresh out of xanax.'

"That's the strongest teeth whitener we carry. Smile in the dark and your mouth becomes a night light."

'If you experience pain and discomfort in removing the cap... double the dosage.'