Pharmaceutical Humor Pillows

"That new drug causes flatulence."

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

Sea of Tranquillity

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"It's what the people want. You run wild for a couple of hours and then - zap - you're back to normal."

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

"We've got to cut the drugs budget somehow, pass me the twigs and the bat droppings!"

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

'Our trials show that the new drug performs no better than placebo.'

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

R. Dough, M.D. - Eye, Ear, Nose, Throat & Big Pharma Stock.

"No, it's not mentioned in the side effects. But you have noticed that it's a full moon tonight, haven't you?"

Standup Pharmacist

Leo and Florence Wolfe play medication commercial BINGO during the nightly news.

'Your physician has to have more confidence in e-prescribing. He followed up with a fax, an e-mail, and a phone call.'

'Fill it up, hold the cotton.'

"That's the strongest teeth whitener we carry. Smile in the dark and your mouth becomes a night light."

Werewolf prone? Try our MoonBlock.

"This medication did take care of my rash. However, like the TV commercial claimed, it did come with a few side effects."

"I feel so calm and relaxed when we're together."

Push In And Turn

Stool Softener

'Is excruciating pain an 'untoward reaction'?'

"They won't help you... but what the heck, they won't hurt you either."

"Take the green pill to feel hunky, the yellow pill to feel dory."

'Take them until further testing shows they really aren't effective.'