Pharmacy Humor Gifts

Pharmacy: 'Do you have BEER-of-magnesia?'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"I don't leave home without it!"

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"I didn't say he's dying from choking. I said he's killing us with his joking."

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

"We only test our drugs on plants, so we have to do lots and lots of extrapolating."

"I've developed a sporting way to administer the flu shot."

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

Sea of Tranquillity

"He's our newest partner, we can't afford to be as selective as we used to be."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

'I'm referring you to a doctor with better attorneys.'

'And out hospital has rooms...lots of rooms, and some beds, and we've got stairs.'

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

'This is our most efficient inhibition blocker. It's 99% alcohol.'

"Our health insurance premium doubled. Our age is now a pre-existing condition."

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

"Are you in there, Mr Elkins?"

Is there anyone here from 'customer care'? Could you tell them I'll ring back as soon as I've got my new kidney in!

"Thanks for reminding me, doc! I just forgot that I've got Alzheimer's!"

'So for the record...age you admitting that there are circumstances in which you would not demand an MRI scan for a child with a sniffle for purely budgetary reasons!'

'I see a VERY important note from your doctor. Unfortunately, I can't read her handwriting.'

"Do you have someone to drive you home after your surgery? My car's in the shop and I could really use a ride."

"It's the online blood bank. Do we want to continue shopping?"

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"