Pharmaceutical Pun Enthusiast Gifts

"It doesn't actually cure anything, but the side effects are VERY popular."

"There aren't any serious side effects. I take it myself."

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

'If you want a second opinion, come back tomorrow, and I'll tell you the same thing.'

"You're as sound as a dollar. I'll order more tests."

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

"And that one's for the relief of anxiety caused by the high cost of medication."

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

Obstetrics.

I heart bypass t-shirt.

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

Sea of Tranquillity

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'The lab report just came in. The lab is in fine shape!'

'I ordered an IV, not an ivy.'

Traffic Lights Medicine

Hospital. Patient to stomach specialist: 'What's your gut-feeling, Doctor?'

'You're getting a stye.'

"Those giblets are gonna have to come out."

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"We've got to cut the drugs budget somehow, pass me the twigs and the bat droppings!"

"The biopsy came back benign.....but I still want you to see a tree surgeon."

Plastic Surgery

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

We need to up your dosage or lower mine.

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."