Glasses Seeker Pillows

"Any idea where I left my reading glasses?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

Pampered and poodled.

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"I don't like your application."

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

Mister Pretty Shoes

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

Airplane Mode.

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Do you do much walking?"

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

Changing Room Decisions

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."

Elegant woman in backless dress.

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

'I'll take it!'

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.