Gift Seeker Pillows

"I'm looking for something for my husband. What goes with fast food?"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Ball as water-melon.

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

A watch face with Stonehenge

King Kongs first christmas

That's supposed to say garage sale!

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

Where Deviled Eggs come from

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

CEO.

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

"Roadkill cookies"

Santa's Helpers

"Pass that."

Regifts of the Magi

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

International House of Excrement

Happy Bifurcation Day,

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

'Buy two pounds and I'll throw in the sword.'

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

Fish mobsters.

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

"What seems to be the problem?"