Got New Glasses Pillows

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

Claus 2.0

"Meet the author"

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"Look what I found, dad!"

Ascent of Machine.

Empty box of ideas

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

Bright Idea

Robocop and Juliet.

'Good news. We're not Daft Punk.'

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

The First Martian Dog.

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

Robot Jogger

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

',,,And we'd really like a heart for the Tin Man,,,'

"It makes me want to pee."

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

"Behold! My greatest improvement to fatherhood. She cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, burps, and farts. What's more...she self-identifies as a father!"

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

King kong 5 G.

'Keep in mind, some assembly is required.'

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

Employee of the Month

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

'Why do they call these conventions when everyone here is so unconventional?'