Got New Glasses Pillows

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

Claus 2.0

"Meet the author"

"Look what I found, dad!"

Ascent of Machine.

Empty box of ideas

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

Robocop and Juliet.

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

Bright Idea

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

"It makes me want to pee."

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

'Keep in mind, some assembly is required.'

Employee of the Month

"You're hired!"

'Why do they call these conventions when everyone here is so unconventional?'

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

'Okay guys - lights out!'

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.