Getting Fired Gifts

'You know how they say there's no 'I' in 'team'? I'm afraid as of today there's no 'u' either...'

I've always been a man who was able to admit his mistakes and you, Harris, were a mistake.

"Sorry, Foster, but I'm letting you go. I just downloaded the 'Scapegoat' app."

I thought the boss had a sense of humor.

'What do you mean, for Simkins? I'M Simkins!'

"I told my supervisor that it's not being lazy if you don't really want to do it."

"That's the part of the exit interview the boss really enjoys!"

'You told me to clean out my desk.'

'At least you're leaving with your dignity? Oh no you're not! Any dignity accrued working here is clearly company property.'

'I always said he was on the fast track.'

'Yes, Hawkins, I did tell you to never show your face around this farm again.'

"I believe, Merkin, that my action today frees you to unleash your God-given talents and pursue your dreams, in some other venue."

"Where would we be without you, Perkins. Well, we intend to find out next month."

'Take your eye patch and that stupid parrot and your wooden leg and get out.'

'Believe me Carpenter, when I fired you, I didn't know it was your birthday.'

"Here – if you dose at the exact moment you get fired, it really heightens the experience."

"Hate to see you leave - you were my favorite puppet."

"Dead man walking!"

"I thought it was a myth, but it's true—when you're fired your whole resume flashes before your eyes."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"You had the power to leave all along - just click your heels three times, grab your coat, and sneak out without saying goodbye."

"It's hard to keep good people."

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

"My God! There goes middle management."

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

'You're resigning? What great timing! I was going to lay you off friday!'

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'Does this mean you won't be coming back on Monday?'

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"