Fired Gifts

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"Sorry, Foster, but I'm letting you go. I just downloaded the 'Scapegoat' app."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

"Love your ambiance!"

'Wow. The anti-smoking movement really has been successful.'

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

'Sorry dad - it won't happen again,'

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

"Sorry, we only do cats in trees."

'Don't hate me just because I hate you.'

Fire Assembly Point

Firemen trying to rescue a monk from a burning monastery

The Biggest Forest Fire Starter

'I always said he was on the fast track.'

'Get me a match! The pilot light in our competitive fire is out!'

'What do you mean, for Simkins? I'M Simkins!'

'Take your eye patch and that stupid parrot and your wooden leg and get out.'

'Isn't Daddy nice? -- He invented a night light for you!'

"Fire down."

"Hate to see you leave - you were my favorite puppet."

"Dead man walking!"

'We've created fire! We're Gods!'

'When it comes to our Boef flambe safety is paramount.'

"Stephen wants to be a fireman, Emily a doctor, and Matthew plans to take a few years off to find himself."

"I'm thinking that I may move hell to the west coast of the United States. There's more fire there."

'It's primarily a toaster, but it has a lot of secondary functions.'

Tomorrow's Special: Flavored Whole Milk

Bumper Stickers for Seniors.

"He's auditioning for a part in 'Conan The Octagenarian'."