Fired Pillows

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"Sorry, Foster, but I'm letting you go. I just downloaded the 'Scapegoat' app."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

"Love your ambiance!"

'Wow. The anti-smoking movement really has been successful.'

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

'Sorry dad - it won't happen again,'

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

Fire Assembly Point

'Don't hate me just because I hate you.'

'I always said he was on the fast track.'

"Sorry, we only do cats in trees."

Firemen trying to rescue a monk from a burning monastery

The Biggest Forest Fire Starter

'Get me a match! The pilot light in our competitive fire is out!'

Tomorrow's Special: Flavored Whole Milk

'What do you mean, for Simkins? I'M Simkins!'

"Fire down."

'Take your eye patch and that stupid parrot and your wooden leg and get out.'

'It's primarily a toaster, but it has a lot of secondary functions.'

'Isn't Daddy nice? -- He invented a night light for you!'

"Hate to see you leave - you were my favorite puppet."

"Dead man walking!"

"I'm thinking that I may move hell to the west coast of the United States. There's more fire there."

'When it comes to our Boef flambe safety is paramount.'

"Stephen wants to be a fireman, Emily a doctor, and Matthew plans to take a few years off to find himself."

Bumper Stickers for Seniors.

"He's auditioning for a part in 'Conan The Octagenarian'."

Fire at the Bisto Factory