Being Fired Pillows

Bob's last days as moat monitor.

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"Sorry, Foster, but I'm letting you go. I just downloaded the 'Scapegoat' app."

'You're resigning? What great timing! I was going to lay you off friday!'

"My God! There goes middle management."

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

'Does this mean you won't be coming back on Monday?'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

The breakup

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

'Nepotism will no longer be an issue. I'm disowning you.'

'I'm hereby giving my two week notice and taking my last two weeks of vacation. I could use a positive reference. Thanks.'

'I don't think I'm getting paid enough either, Osgood - Let's both quit!'

"By the way, I'm giving notice I start at Hooters on Monday."

Nothing to Lose

Surprise Party

"There's a rumour that someone may be resigning today."

'Hoskins, I'd like to congratulate you on your leadership initiative... and if I didn't feel threatened, I'd keep you on.'

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

"I can't work for you anymore. My doctor said I'm allergic to nuts."

"I just hit the lottery for a million bucks, so today I'm going to punch that timeclock for the last time."

'I always said he was on the fast track.'

'You remember Mr. Horton? You know, the one you said to give the 'clean desk' award to? -- you fired him three years ago.'

'Does that mean you found a new job, Hirshenson?'

'Looking for a job with better conditions?'

'You can stop worrying about job burnout.'

'I told him that I was leaving...that I couldn't put up with the endless stream of meaningless paperwork, the mind and morale sapping mountain of procedures and protocols!'