Being Laid Off Pillows

'Well I would have exhibited more leadership qualities if someone would have told me to.'

'It's nothing personal. How could it be? Until you friended me on Facebook I didn't even know you worked here.'

Finnings was just too nice for this World

"Can I just flag my concerns viz the CFO's disempowerment situation re the projected counter-downsizing monies..."

Caption Contest

"That's what I hear- In the boardroom they're talking sauces."

'I just got canned!'

'At least they offered us a severance gift card.'

'I've been fired, but they were really nice about it.'

'You do outstanding work, Nelson, but I'm afraid Higby makes me look better.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

Very Difficult Conversations

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

Danger Slow Sand.

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

'Don't worry about your job at the office, Sweetie. They declared bankrupty today.'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

Between Offices

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."