Being Fired Gifts

Bob's last days as moat monitor.

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"Sorry, Foster, but I'm letting you go. I just downloaded the 'Scapegoat' app."

"My God! There goes middle management."

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

'You're resigning? What great timing! I was going to lay you off friday!'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'Does this mean you won't be coming back on Monday?'

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

The breakup

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

"By the way, I'm giving notice I start at Hooters on Monday."

'I don't think I'm getting paid enough either, Osgood - Let's both quit!'

'Nepotism will no longer be an issue. I'm disowning you.'

Surprise Party

"There's a rumour that someone may be resigning today."

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

'Hoskins, I'd like to congratulate you on your leadership initiative... and if I didn't feel threatened, I'd keep you on.'

'You remember Mr. Horton? You know, the one you said to give the 'clean desk' award to? -- you fired him three years ago.'

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

'I always said he was on the fast track.'

"I just hit the lottery for a million bucks, so today I'm going to punch that timeclock for the last time."

'Does that mean you found a new job, Hirshenson?'

"I can't work for you anymore. My doctor said I'm allergic to nuts."

'Looking for a job with better conditions?'

'You can stop worrying about job burnout.'

'I told him that I was leaving...that I couldn't put up with the endless stream of meaningless paperwork, the mind and morale sapping mountain of procedures and protocols!'

Musical Chairs...