Firing Or Layoff Gifts

I have to let you go, Dobson. I've just found out you were hired because of a computer error.

Very Difficult Conversations

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

"Sorry, Foster, but I'm letting you go. I just downloaded the 'Scapegoat' app."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

The breakup

"Just go ahead. It's my last day here and I hate this place."

Leaving cards.

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

"I'm going to make you a stay-at-home mom."

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

'There's new evidence that my departure from my previous employer merely coincided with their brain drain.'

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

'I'm afraid we have to let you go. As you know, you're entitled to a 'Golden Handshake'...

"Here's one I wrote myself. It's called 'Blues for the Guy I'm Laying Off.'"

You're Employment has been terminated -Smiley face lol

'I always said he was on the fast track.'

What Bob thought outside the box.

Musical Chairs...

'You can stop worrying about job burnout.'

"I gave you the axe. How dare you come back and use it to intimidate me."

"But I was told this was included in my severance package."

'We really can't afford golden parachutes any more, but here's a plastic crash helmet.'

'OK everyone get out... we're downsizing!'

"They told me my parachute would be golden. Turns out it's pyrite."

"Guys, I can't afford to be laid off."

'What do you mean, for Simkins? I'M Simkins!'

'Our employees agreed to be frozen until there's an economic upturn.'

'Take your eye patch and that stupid parrot and your wooden leg and get out.'

'And if you become homeless due to this layoff, you can pitch a tent on my estate...'