Firing Or Layoff Gifts

I have to let you go, Dobson. I've just found out you were hired because of a computer error.

Very Difficult Conversations

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

"Sorry, Foster, but I'm letting you go. I just downloaded the 'Scapegoat' app."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"Just go ahead. It's my last day here and I hate this place."

The breakup

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

Leaving cards.

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

"I'm going to make you a stay-at-home mom."

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

'I'm afraid we have to let you go. As you know, you're entitled to a 'Golden Handshake'...

'I always said he was on the fast track.'

'There's new evidence that my departure from my previous employer merely coincided with their brain drain.'

"Here's one I wrote myself. It's called 'Blues for the Guy I'm Laying Off.'"

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

You're Employment has been terminated -Smiley face lol

What Bob thought outside the box.

'You can stop worrying about job burnout.'

Musical Chairs...

"I gave you the axe. How dare you come back and use it to intimidate me."

'OK everyone get out... we're downsizing!'

'Our employees agreed to be frozen until there's an economic upturn.'

'We really can't afford golden parachutes any more, but here's a plastic crash helmet.'

'Relax, I'm not here for you. Just for your job.'

The 12 Days of Covidmas

'You do outstanding work, Nelson, but I'm afraid Higby makes me look better.'

"They told me my parachute would be golden. Turns out it's pyrite."

'What do you mean, for Simkins? I'M Simkins!'

"Guys, I can't afford to be laid off."